Friends before but friends no more? Oh, think positive people! I mean friends turning into more than friends! Friendship blossoming into love: an intricate, beautiful but highly complicated thing! If handled well, you get the best of both worlds! And if you are in that position right now, careful you don’t break the thread with a mistake! Make it stronger, here are some tips!
What to do:
-> Stay the same!
Just because the situations changed doesn’t mean you should drastically change yourself for their sake. Of course, some changes in behavior will come by, but otherwise; remember that they fell in love with who you are and not what you’d change to become.
-> Get to know their friends!
Obviously, they have friends outside you mutual friends’ circle. Get to know these friends. Your friends circle widens, and at the same time, you get to know their other good friends too! (Then maybe you wouldn’t mind them going off with them once in a while, eh?)
-> Give them space!
It’s difficult enough being in a relationship with someone. Make it as easy as you can for each other. Know that there are certain things they need to do without you, or prefer to. (Like playing video games! Or going shopping?)
-> Let them make their own decisions!
Many a times, one feels they have more hold over the other because they are in a relationship with them. It may be so, but don’t take advantage of this. Many people pressurize the other to take up similar courses just so they can be in the same college. They are perfectly capable of deciding their future, so let them make their decisions. Be there for them, that is all.
-> Let them spend time with their friends, away from you.
Yes, they have a part of life that does not involve you, deal with it! You’ll only make them (and their friends) hostile if you try and take that freedom of friendship away from them.
Anddd the don’ts! Much more trying, but equally important!
What NOT to do:
-> DO NOT be possessive!
Too many relationships have fallen apart because one or the other (or, both!) is too possessive over the other. Don’t put a leash on them, or a tag on them. Feel secure in knowing that you are together and that sometimes they have things to do which do not involve you.
-> Remember that some things are best kept between friends.
So having been ‘just a friend’ to them before, you may know some things which are not-so-nice to a person who’s in a relationship. (yes, you got it: Exes. Steer clear of bringing them up, especially in spite. Red light area!)
-> Don’t change for them!
Often, one tends to be crazy around friends but different around one’s boyfriend or girlfriend. It shouldn’t be this way. You being able to boldly be yourself around them is a most important thing in a relationship.
-> News flash: People of opposite sexes can be best friends!
Yes you may be the one that gets to ‘whisper sweet nothings’ but know that there’s a best friend in the picture too. And don’t get all paranoid because they’re of the opposite sexes! Trust each other. Get to know their best friend, maybe you’d like them too!
->And last but not the least: PDAs.
Much talk about this lately, yes? Public displays of affection. Kindly keep them to a minimum? There are people around who are still getting used to the fact that you are more than friends. Plus, it’s a personal thing; you do not want someone to tell you to ‘get a room!’