To Marry or Not ?

marry-me“To be (married) or not to be (married)?” That is the question. This matter isn’t as simple (or in a way, complex) as it used to be. Let’s say its complex in a different manner. Before, the reasons were simple enough: that was how society functioned. But there was little, if at all, any choice involved. Today, it’s the other way round. Reasons are more complex and choices are not so rigid. My friend once remarked that co-habitation seems a better option. Co-habitation is like marriage without a ‘mangalsutra’. So, he says, does that piece of gold really make a difference? Marriage, according to him is ‘registered co-habitation’. Live-in relationships are quite common these days, and even legalized in some communities.

People have differing opinions on this topic, and it being a highly personal one, no one can rule judgements. Marriage is a highly sensitive topic; especially with the laws being passed on the LGBT community. It no longer remains a singular topic. It is intertwined with gender, work, personal choices, and not to forget, the government.

However, contrary to popular belief, most people still opt for a traditional marriage, few giving concrete thoughts to other alternatives. Marriage has and continues to provide the promise of a long lasting relationship. However, it brings along many drawbacks as well. This is especially true in the case of our patriarchal society. To be married and not be involved in the affairs of both the families is like diving in an ocean and wanting to come out dry. Marriage was, and remains, mostly, a long term decision. Once settled, this decision is very hard to alter, and hence much thought must be put into it before taking any leaps. One must have a good tolerance level and an ability to sacrifice some of their desires.

Socrates said, “by all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher”. Needless to say, this applies the other way round as well!

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